The opposite of self believe is self doubt. When you have a strong self belief, nothing can stop you from being courageous, going after and achieving your goals, and getting what you want in life. Self-belief is being confident in your own abilities. It is such an important quality to have as self belief is linked to your own worth and your ability to reach your full potential. If you grew up with plenty of validation, support and encouragement, frankly, you need not read this. For those who grew up with little to no validation, support and encouragement, you will find that you second guess yourself often (indecisiveness ), fear is predominant in your life (less willing to take risks), you tend to face unhappiness and have a lack of confidence with yourself and life. Chin up, there are ways you can help yourself to decrease your self-doubt. Here are some ways to boost your self-belief, and know that you are not alone in this.
1) Affirm Yourself. Each time you begin to feel low or start the negative thoughts, catch it and change it.
I am in the process of positive change. I now express health, happiness and peace of mind.
I am scared - I am safe, I can protect myself, I have ways and means to look after myself, I trust myself, I trust life and all is well, I am not alone, it is easy to stand up for myself.
I am so stupid - I am smart, I am learning, I have my own unique gifts; I am talented, I am wise, I am growing.
I am slow - I enjoy learning and doing this, I accept myself the way I am, I am creative, I am talented. Enjoy in your uniqueness.
I am a loser - I am learning, I will get through this, I am adequately prepared for all situations, I am far more than I am, I am special and wonderful. I love myself.
Life is so difficult - I trust life and all is well, I trust that life is filled with opportunities, help comes to me at all times, everything is working out for me now, all is well in my world, life is simple and easy.
2) Find a supportive friend / group. Having a supportive friend or group who is trustworthy and non- judgmental, helps you to grow in your strength and self-esteem day after day. When the worry and fear is shared, it makes it easier to face whatever situation you are going through. There will also be goals and accountability but always with support and love. This is what growth is about.
3) Find a therapist. If you are unable to find that supportive friend / group, and you want to work on becoming a better and stronger you, find a therapist / counselor that you feel comfortable to work with. NB: Self work may not be easy, but with the right supportive therapist / counselor, you will be fine, and safe.
4) Spend time with yourself. Do things that you love and that is healthy for you. Spend time in meditation, be still within you and find that inner peace and joy. Being grounded and calm in your being helps you with overcoming fears and letting go of judging yourself and your negative thoughts.
5) Improve your skills/competence. Make the effort to improve your skills through constant learning. If it is something you are passionate about, or something that makes you feel like a failure, then work on it. Find out all the ways to learn more about it; leave no stones un-turned and tell yourself that you will be the expert in that area. The mere act of doing so helps to build confidence and when you have overcome it, remember to list this as your accomplishment and CELEBRATE it!
Remember, take tiny steps and make small changes, one day at a time. Finding out that you have lived with the consequences of self-doubt can be challenging and painful. Self doubt may have contributed to your low self esteem and low self worth, and is probably the root to your being stuck in fear. That is ok. Realizing and acknowledging this takes time to process; "where did this begin, how did this come about, how has it affected me - especially now". Don't get stuck there for too long, release these experiences and thank life for the lessons you have learnt. Then start making the change. You've got this. I believe you, the universe believes in you. You are meant to thrive. You are meant to shine, so go shine your light!
I want to dedicate this blog to the two important people who stood by me in my pain, my challenges, my fears and my self doubts. Their support, love and encouragement helped me to be who I am today and I am still learning. I want to take this opportunity to thank them for their unconditional love and support. This is dedicated to Diana and Vincent. I would not want to discount the fact that I do have many others who also stood by me in my challenging moments, and I thank each of you too, for your support and encouragement.