The essence of a human person is always about growth, to becoming the person we are meant to be, kind, compassionate, understanding and loving, to others and to one's self. We learn from our parents, our friends, our teachers, the environment and the world around us, and don't forget, we learn the most from our Self too, from our own perceptions (which may be limited).
Whatever the core beliefs - the positive (encouragements, validations, support) and the negative (that you are not enough, that you are not complete, the comparisons, the envy, the worries, the judgmental self), these assumptions and beliefs are probably guiding us in everything we do today. I have had some of them (still do), "I am too scared of everything especially of the unknown! How did I not know it?? Wow, she/he is so smart! I am too...fat, round, etc"
So how has these beliefs shaped me? Well, they beat me down, they paralyze me, they take away my self belief and self esteem! Yes, of course I allowed it! Now, being ever mindful, I would watch my thoughts and what I say to myself and to others. I have heard people say, "Oh, just kill me, I am so dead" and I have said them before too, until someone reminded me that these words are not healthy for the body and the mind to hear. Part of you dies slowly. Imagine if a plant can bloom when you speak kindly to it, or an animal heal when you are kind to it. Think about what being kind to your Self can do!
So, when I have one of those self-defeating moments, I tell myself, "Hey, I'm in a learning process; Wow, that's something new I've learnt! When we come to the bridge of fear & worry, I will deal with it the best way possible, so until then I will live my life on a daily basis. It is OK to be vulnerable as long as I show up - which means I have the courage and boldness to take that first step regardless if I succeed or fail! ".
When I have a fear of doing something, I would analyse it and if it is beneficial, I would tell myself that the opposite of fear is excitement, just go and do it already! Make that call, go out, attend a new class, collect a new experience!I like what Dr, Leo Buscaglia wrote in his 'Living, Loving and Learning' book,"If I grow and grow, I can give you more of me. I learn so that I can teach you more. I strive for wisdom so that I can encourage your truth. ... And I struggle to understand my humanness so that i can better understand you when you reveal to me that you are human too. ... What I do for me, I do for you. ... Everything you have ever learned, you have learned for everyone in your environment." Now, isn't that beautiful?
Nowadays, if one of those anxieties crop up, I will start tapping (EFT) these away and use positive statements to help me through. It is still a work in progress, and I am a work in progress. If we cannot learn how to be loving, kind, patient and compassionate with our Self, we will not be able to practice this with others, vice versa! There are no mistakes or failures in life, only lessons!