There is a certain restlessness that comes from knowing you are meant to do something meaningful but not quite knowing what that something is. For the longest time, I carried this restlessness with me, an unrelenting quest to uncover my purpose and calling. It was a constant seeking and reflecting deeply within myself. Little did I know, the answers would come at the most unexpected yet perfect moment.
It was during a talk by a couple who were both counsellors. They spoke about the baggage individuals bring into their marriages—unprocessed trauma, co-dependency, differences in addressing conflicts, differences in needs and expectations, and the lasting influences of family of origin, including values, cultures, beliefs, and norms. As they spoke, something clicked within me. Their words illuminated not only my own life and relationships but also the path I was meant to take. That was my aha moment. I realized then and there that I wanted to dedicate my life to helping others navigate the complexities of their inner worlds and relationships.
Addressing a Broad Range of Issues
When I began my journey into psychotherapy in my 40s, I initially worked with a wide array of client concerns, including anxiety, anger, PTSD symptoms, relational issues, depression, grief and loss, life adjustments, and phobias. These experiences can be deeply isolating and overwhelming, but with the right support, healing and growth are possible. Whether someone was navigating the complexities of life, coping with the pain of loss, or seeking to improve their relationships, I strove to provide a safe and compassionate space for them to explore their emotions and rediscover their strength.
As I continued to work with clients, I recognized the profound impact that unresolved issues could have on their lives. This understanding motivated me to deepen my practice and expand my focus to include more specialized areas of concern.
Expanding My Practice into Addiction Work
Over time, my practice began to evolve, and I started seeing more clients grappling with addiction—a multifaceted issue that often has its roots in trauma. Addiction is not limited to substances like drugs and alcohol but also includes behaviours such as compulsive sexual activity, love and relationship dependencies, pornography use, shopping, smoking, and even workaholism. These behaviours often serve as coping mechanisms for unaddressed emotional wounds, providing temporary relief but ultimately perpetuating harm.
Addiction work was not something I initially anticipated diving into, but it became a profound and rewarding part of my practice. Many of my clients carried deep shame and guilt, often stemming from strict religious or familial upbringings that shaped their sense of self-worth and coping mechanisms. These experiences highlighted for me the intricate connection between trauma and addiction, and how unprocessed pain can drive individuals toward behaviours that temporarily soothe but ultimately harm.
While I am open to working with a variety of addictions, I choose not to specialize in drug-related cases, as they require a deeper understanding of pharmacology and medical interventions. Regardless of the type of addiction, I emphasize the importance of pairing therapy with support groups, which provide an essential community for healing and accountability.
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Understanding Addiction and Trauma
Addiction is a multifaceted issue. While genetics have been cited as a factor, I believe, like Gabor Maté, that trauma often lies at the root. Maté famously states, "The question is not why the addiction, but why the pain?" This resonates deeply with me, as I have seen how relational trauma—especially adverse childhood experiences (ACEs)—plays a significant role in shaping addictive behaviours.
Dr. Bruce Alexander, another leading voice in addiction research, introduced the concept of the "Rat Park" experiment, which highlights the significance of environment and connection in overcoming addiction. His findings support the idea that addiction thrives in isolation and disconnection, further emphasizing the need for relational healing and supportive communities.
Addiction can take many forms beyond substances. Behavioural addictions, such as compulsive shopping, workaholism, and excessive reliance on pornography or smoking, are equally valid and impactful. These behaviours are driven by an attempt to numb or escape underlying emotional pain. As Johann Hari eloquently states, "The opposite of addiction is not sobriety. The opposite of addiction is connection."
Understanding these perspectives informs my approach to helping clients navigate their addiction, fostering an environment where they can reconnect with themselves and their communities in meaningful ways.
Healing the Fragmented Self
Trauma fragments the self, creating disconnections within and between the mind, body, and spirit. Healing, therefore, involves a process of integration—bringing these fractured parts back into harmony. This pursuit has become the cornerstone of my work. By addressing the underlying pain and shame, and exploring the roots of one’s behaviours, my goal is to help clients reclaim their sense of wholeness.
I continue to deepen my knowledge of trauma and its effects on the brain and body, as well as the pathways to healing. Research on ACEs, attachment theory, and the impact of relational dynamics informs my practice. My hope is to guide clients not only toward overcoming their struggles but also toward thriving as their authentic, integrated selves.
The Name Behind My Practice: The Journey Within
The name of my practice, The Journey Within, reflects the core of what I believe about healing and personal growth. It calls us to look inward, to discover ourselves, and to heal the fragmented parts of who we are. Often, these parts may have been lost or hidden due to pain, neglect, or trauma. The journey within is about integrating these parts to become our Whole Self—an authentic, thriving, and connected being.
A Holistic Approach
This work is deeply personal to me. I understand what it means to search for meaning, to struggle with inner turmoil, and to strive for healing. My approach is holistic, acknowledging the mind-body-spirit connection and the importance of community in recovery. Whether through talk therapy, trauma-informed practices, or referrals to support groups, I aim to create a safe and nurturing space for transformation.
If you are on your own journey of seeking, know that healing and integration are possible. It is never too late to find your purpose, to confront your pain, and to step into a fuller, more thriving version of yourself.
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