It took a life time of adventures, made out with a dollop of fun, a splash of learning and growth, add a dash of hardship and a smidgen of suffering while exploring what my life purpose is, what I am meant to do. The quest is still on, for growth is a life long journey.
As I watched my friends graduate, move on to work in interesting jobs, setting down their roots and building their family, I often wondered about myself; what was I doing, what do I want to do, was this all life was for me - find someone get married, be the doormat, not having much say because if I couldn't respect myself, and stand up for myself, why would anyone do the same for me. Yet, that was the path I took because I just love a challenge (not..).
In the midst of that path, it was an arduous journey of self searching amidst chaos, low self esteem, lacking in any confidence or a voice, I had to keep swimming upstream to maintain whatever sanity and balance in my life. So, soul searching, maintaining balance, and swimming real hard to finally figuring out what I would call an "aha' moment where the light bulb literally went on for me. I never felt so alive, awake and motivated then, and I knew what I wanted to do - be a marriage counselor - to help heal couples and help them understand the cause of dissension in a household - the emotional baggage they bring with them, with a whole load of their family history, cultures, beliefs, values and top it up with their expectations. Sounds tiring doesn't it? Well, 13 years on, I have my ex-husband to thank these difficult lessons for (we make better friends now than we ever did when we were married). Ten years in a marriage that doesn't seem to work from the start, can drain anyone's energy, and disrupt their emotional and psychological health. Try not to go down that road.. I am grateful for that bumpy road honestly, for without those challenges, I would not have had the privilege to know what my life purpose would be.
So, thirteen years since that light bulb moment, I am at home as a life coach and counselor. I am finally HOME! I have come to realize that the path that brought me here in the first place is not my forte for now - marital counselling. I find engaging with individuals - who are exploring to discover themselves, work to overcome their fears and limited beliefs, connect with their fragmented selves, journeying along with their traumatic past in order to evolve to become healthier versions of themselves - more fulfilling and meaningful for me, because this is the path that I am walking now and I am more aware of this journey.
The need for this blog is for me to put my thoughts, experiences and feelings into words. One, because I enjoy writing, and two, that I can share with you so that you know you are not alone in your journey. Those moments when you think insanity is crowding in, know that those are moments for you to look within and find the strength you already have within you, and it is ok to sink right down before you can KICK the ground to PROPEL upwards!
You are most welcomed to walk this journey with me, of evolving, transforming and healing as we grow to be healthier versions of ourselves. Do leave any comments or feedback or even something you are facing or would want me to write on. I would gladly do the research.
Blessings of light and love to you xxx
The Journey Within https://www.thejourneywithinanaj.com