Finding Joy in your Journey


How is it some of us are able to be joyful wherever we are and especially when we are stuck with only our own company? What makes one joyful and contented in whatever situation they are in, and if not, how can one change that to better manage their life. I was posed with a similar question recently since humans are sociable creatures, made to be in community, how is that possible that they are just happy wherever they are and in whatever situation they are in.

 I conclude (only of my own opinion) that such persons would probably have these characteristics:

  • First and foremost, they believe that they are a child of God; there is wonderment, simplicity and joy.

  • Their upbringing; how have they been brought up? In simplicity and contentment with everything they have, whether they have more or less.

  • Their values and beliefs, passed down for their parents, and the values the individuals have made for themselves.

  • Were they left alone much of the time as a child? Perhaps they learnt to make the most of their time and totally enjoyed that even perhaps if it could be lonely, but they managed and coped. Because they have managed to cope so well, when this situation happens again in adulthood, they know very well they can depend on themselves for company and direction.

The list above is not exhaustive. Most importantly, how would one change their thoughts and situations now, if they do have issues being in their own company and finding joy/meaning in their lives. Here are some suggestions:

  1. Be aware of your thoughts, catch them, question them for their truths and change them. It is easier said than done, but practice makes perfect. eg., "I am lonely, no one likes me" to "Says who, have I given anyone opportunity to like me or to know me firstly? I am awesome, I can be friendly, it may be difficult but I can always try".

  2. Journal your thoughts and the challenges you are facing. Ask yourself, what lesson can I learn from this situation; look out for at least 2 - 3 things you are grateful for in this situation / lessons.

  3. What are some things you can do to change the situation? Are you afraid of meeting new people, afraid of rejection etc? Fear is the one thing that paralyzes anyone from moving ahead. Find out your fears, write them down. Then write what you can and want to do, to change some things around. These are your intentions and goals.

  4. Find a support group or a therapist that you feel comfortable with, tell them your issues and what you would like to do. Telling people of your goals, keeps you accountable to yourself and also changes the way you think.

  5. Spend time in meditation; it helps to change your perspectives, your thoughts, of accepting yourself and loving yourself more.

  6. Power of affirmation. Look at yourself in the mirror, put your right palm on your heart (tap it gently with your finger tips if it helps to sooth yourself) , and say a positive statement that you need to hear. It can be difficult because you may have never done so, or find it uncomfortable to even look at yourself. Perhaps you are so used to being shamed and being ashamed. It is time to take your power back for yourself, be your own strength, your own best friend and your own encourager. Tell yourself often, "I am strong, I am wise, I am beautiful, I can do it etc". You can and you will.

Life is like a journey on an airplane; it is a destination for sure and it has smooth rides as well as turbulence. Our lives are similar too, a destination filled with ups and downs, challenges and good times. However, when you know who you are, with you strong inner resilience, filled with gratitude for life, see each day as a wonder, and a miracle. Be open to possibilities. Embrace everything in your stride as something to ponder in amazement and as its has been said, gratitude builds on gratitude.



 

Singapore

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